Welcome to a special Gygax memorial edition of high Fantasy Wrestling. Tonight’s matches will be commented by a short little bald guy who keeps calling himself the Dungeon Master, I don’t know what kind of fifty shades kinky shit he is into but he has promised a special round of bouts for us tonight .
Ulrich vs Spider-man vs Nightcrawler
DM: Tonight cruiser weight match will take place between a paladin a furry elf what appears to be a follower of Lloth. The bell rings and Spiderman does a double kick swing straight at Ulrich but is stopped midswing by Nightcrawler with a flurry of teleportation blows. Apperrantly being from the same universe offers no loyalty here. The two super powered heroes go at it all around the arena teleporting and swinging all over the place mainly ignoring Ulrich as he is stuck fighting in only two dimensions. Spidermans spidey sense slowly seems to be giving him the edge in the arial battle and has managed to daze the swashbuckling blue devil with a couple of impact webbings to the head . He goes for the pin but suddenly looks up as he spidey sense warns him but to late as Ulrich comes riding down with a tourney lance shattering against the head of spidey dazing the web slinger and giving Ulrich the chance to pin Nightcrawler after he was trampled by Ulrichs horse. The two supers failed to give Ulrich enough credit apperantly .
Winner Ulrich
Red Sonja vs Buffy vs Lara Croft
DM: Tonight’s match already has one of my favorite dungeons and dragons items of all time ,the chain mail bikini. Buffy and Lara are already in the ring but there seems to be no sign of Sonja. After a few more minutes Buffy gets tired and finally strikes a blow to Laras head and the ref rings the bell. The crowd goes wild as both these combatants have a 18 in both charisma and dexterity if you know what I mean. Buffys slayer strength is giving her the advantage here but Lara is defiantly holding her own dishing out a fair amount punishment . And finally a Red Sonja joins the match im getting reports she was held up by a one name man demanding money for girl scout cookies. She does seem a little roughed up. I hear those girl scouts can be vicious in the cookie war. She takes advantage of the weaken Buffy and Lara able to toss the tomb raider out of the ring and pulls a figure four on the slayer making her tap out to the scantly clad barbarian .
Winner Red Sonja
Skeletor vs The Comedian vs Soldier
DM: The Legend of the Tomb of Horrors
Somewhere under a lost and lonely hill of grim and foreboding aspect lies a labyrinthine crypt filled with terrible traps and not a few strong and ferocious monsters to slay the unwary. Rich treasures both precious and magical fill the crypt, but in addition to the aforementioned guardians, some say a demilich still wards his final haunt. (Be warned that tales told have it that this being possesses powers that make him nearly undefeatable!) Accounts relate that adventurers have an extremely low probability of ever finding the chamber where the demilich Acererak lingers, for the passages and rooms of the tomb are fraught with terrible traps, poison gases, and magical protections. Furthermore, the demilich has hidden his lair so well, that even those who avoid the pitfalls likely will not locate their true goal. So only large and well-prepared parties of the bravest and strongest should even consider the attempt, and if they do locate the tomb, they must be prepared to fail. Any expedition must be composed of characters of high level and varied class. They must have magical protections and weapons, and they should equip themselves with every sort of device possible to ensure their survival.
Winner: The soldier (and even he looks disturbed by what he just survived)
Evolution vs. HoSghaj vs. Srs Bsns
DM: Oh ohh my I think I might need to make a saving throw myself. The Joker filled deadpool with explosives and detonated them when the other teams where going in for a pin. Some how the hand of deadpool tagged joker in who was able to make the pin.
Winner Serious Buisness
Swamp Thing vs optimus prime vs beorn
DM: This triple cage match looked exciting until the opponets involved where taking into account. Prime took up so much room that no one could really move except for swamp thing who slowly grew out of the cages. All in all the crowd was disappointed but what do you expect when you stuff a semi into a group of cages .
Winner Swamp Thing
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