MONDAY NIGHT MANA 01/28/13

Hello and welcome to High Fantasy Wrestling's debut showcasing of Monday Night Mana. I'm your host Mean Gene Roddenberry, here with co-host Larry Mxyzptlk, and we've got a phenomenal show for you tonight.

Right you are Gene, and lets jump straight into the action.

CRUISERWEIGHT MATCH

Hot Rod vs. Sniper

The Sniper beats Hot Rod when he makes him lose balance in a puddle of piss, taking the chance to deliver the money shot and power down Rod for the three count. 

CRUISERWEIGHT SUBMISSION MATCH

Spider-Man vs Gordon Freeman

The Gravity Gun leaves Spider-Man grounded for the fight. Coupled with loyal ant lions, Freeman is able to finally get Parker to pass out for a default submission.

WOMENS MATCH

Catwoman vs Sasha Grey

Though the under-cat, Catwoman is able to hold her own for much longer than expected against Sasha. However, when Catwoman's roomate/possible lover Holly Robinson shows up to support Sasha, the jewel thief loses her cool. Sasha gets on top for this final act.

WOMENS FIRST BLOOD MATCH

Sailor Moon vs. Danaerys Targaryen

In an odd turn of events, Sailor Moon wins by technicality. 

13 year old Danny's period has been her bane on this day. 

HARDCORE KNOCKOUT MATCH

Vash the Stampede vs Bender

A historical first, Bender found a way to be disqualified in a no-rules match. Vash wins by DQ.

HARDCORE CAGE MATCH

Raze vs Skeletor

Raze had a bone to pick with Skeletor. And a Lycan can easily climb walls. 

TAG TEAM MATCH

The Men of Steel vs The Liberal Handouts

The Goon and Bizarro seem evenly matched, but Morpheus spends most the fight thinking Superman is the chosen one and trying to get him to join him. Superman easily dispatches him.

TAG TEAM MATCH

Evolution vs Worfenstein

For the fourth time in his life, Worf learned that you don't fuck with Data.

HEAVYWEIGHT MATCH

The Tick vs Optimus Prime

With some assistance from Arthur, The Tick manages to win by sheer dumb luck. 

HEAVYWEIGHT IRON MAN THREE-MAN MATCH

Beorn vs Vega vs Solomon Grundy

Beorn and Solomon Grundy both end up with an equal 4 pins to Vega's 2 after a while, but can't seem to get each other down. Finally Beorn figures out a workaround and just pins Vega one more time before the time limit is reached.